So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
