I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
