Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Who died my cat blue again?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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