the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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