How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
