I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
