Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
