Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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