They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize