The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
