fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
