i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
