fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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