Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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