you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
