we're chasing vodka with high fives
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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