On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
