If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
