he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize