had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
