the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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