Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
