In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
