I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
