I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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