Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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