His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
not ubering you a puppy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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