She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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