What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
