I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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