Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
