I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
