tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
