Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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