After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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