I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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