Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
