i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
