HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
