Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
