you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
