...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
