She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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