My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
