kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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