You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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