My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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