you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
