we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
