WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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