Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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