i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
