There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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