I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
