Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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