i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
