True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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