xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize