I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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