Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
