Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
