i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
