your thong is hanging out like whoa
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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