Cold hands, warm shart.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
