Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
