god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
