Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize