So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
