Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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