so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
