True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't turn off my feet"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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