im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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