I think i sorta joined a cult last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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